If I never had
by Ravenfairie
Summary: What happens when you think you love someone but love someone else to? If you can't help but try to love two people at the same time. And end up breaking there hearts? One shot song fic. may have epilouge. RaeXBB RaeXRob all in one. better then sounds.


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"If I never had..." _**

Raven was in love with two of people. But she couldn't make up her mind. All the

thoughts came flooding back to her like a wave.

**Flashback**

"Raven will you ever come out of your room?" Robin asked. She was with Robin then.

Everything was perfect. "Yes" she said and walked out and gave robin a kiss. She didn't

realize Beast Boy was around the corner.

**End flashback**

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

**Flashback:**

"Beast Boy you know I love you…Don't you?" Raven asked. Beast boy looked in her

eyes. "You know I do" he said. They started to kiss as they fell in a deep sleep…..

**End Flashback.**

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed  
_

Raven cried in her own arm. She couldn't believe how she had acted the past months.

Another thought came to mind.

**Flashback:**

"I don't feel…that good" Raven stated. "Well I can make you feel better, my dark

goddess" Robin said with a smile. He walked into the room. Beast Boy came out from

the shadow he was standing in. And started to cry.

**End Flashback.**

_And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his—chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, let me go _

Raven started to cry harder. She had messed up once again.

_I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control_

Beast Boy new it was to good to be true. Raven hadn't loved him…at least not for _real._

He saw it all and yet he still believed her when she said she was sorry. She looked so

sincere. But now he was paying the price for her mistakes. If she only new how much it

was breaking her heart. He just wanted to push Robin off a cliff so Raven would have no

other choice. And then he could show her the pain he went through all these months.

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside_

Raven stopped crying and pulled her hood up. She walked out her door shaking like

she was hurt. Once she got up to his door she rubbed her hand over the name and

whispered "Robin...". She knocked on his door. Robin appeared to be sleeping. "Oh

hey Rae...want to come in?" Robin asked. "No...I just came here to tell you...this wont

work anymore...us...I mean." she stuttered. Robin looked like a million bricks just fell

on him. "But...why?" he asked. "I haven't been very...very...much the same since...

these pass few months. "Oh...I understand. I guess." Robin said but raven new he

was not ok. Robin looked in her eyes. "You've been cheating on me...haven't

you?" robin said in a low voice. Raven just started to cry. "Just go I don't

want to see your face." robin screamed as he shut the door and locked it.

Cry's could be heard from outside of his door. Raven ran to the roof. It was

pouring down rain. She sat there crying hard and long as she got soaked in

the cold rain.

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
_"It was only a kiss..." Raven screamed to the sky.

_It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss  
Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
__Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his—chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, let me go_

She new what to do. If she couldn't have Robin she could have Beast Boy.

She owed it to him anyway. She spent more time with Robin the Beast Boy.

It wasn't like he new. It would be a fresh new start. She ran to her room,

Forgetting about her powers. She let the door open and ran over to her mirror.

She looked at her self, and what reflected was a girl. A normal girl, who tried

to be something she was not. Who put on fake smiles everywhere she went.

Everywhere. She lied to everyone. Ever since she could feel emotion again,

she had betrayed others. "Forgive me..." she whispered as she threw her

fist at her mirror. She didn't want to see fake stuff anymore.

_I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibi  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside  
_She ran out of her room, once more, except this time to Beast

Boys room. She pounded on the door leaving blood stains. She

had forgotten to clean up her hand. "Oh...hey Raven" Beast boy said

as he opened the door. "Beast boy I'm sorry for all the things I've done

latley.Please Forgive me." Raven whispered loud enough for him to

here. "Raven...I know what you've been doing to me...and you hurt

me more than ever. No one could have hurt me more. Now you and

Robin go and kiss some more." Beast boy said in a serious tone.

"I never..." she began and realized she as doing it again. Lying to all._  
_

_I never..._

"No Raven dont even start to lie" he said. "You've been Lying to me

_and_ to Robin, you don't disserve a second chance cause that was it"

He said.  
_I never..._

"I'm sorry" she said. "You should be...Raven, you should be" he

said as he closed the door shut permanently.

_I never..._

Raven was left with no one. Months passed and Beast Boy didn't

even joke to her. Robin couldn't stare at her, and the tower was

always loud without Raven. They didn't even tell her when they where

leaving out to get food. Raven had lost it all and words echoed through

her head from a familiar song and those words where exactly how she felt.

"How could it end like this" she said. "If I never had..." she said as she took

one last look at the tower before she left.

"If I never had..."

**THE END**

**Ok all this was a song fic. The song was call Mr. Brightside by the killers. ****So I hope you enjoyed. I dedicate it to anyone who reviewed my stories. Also the person**

**who gave me the idea. Well actually this was his problem and it made me think of the song**

**so thank you brandoncandream even though you don't have a fan fiction account. Read **

**and review puh-leez….Oh and he has a account on xanga.Disclamer-****I don't own Teen titans. Or the song Mr. Brightside by the killers. But I own a teen titan tee-shirt. :-P**

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